A Guide to Spectral Phenomena on the Dating Scene.

So I was reading this fantastic article today on the concept known as ‘Ghosting’. This is when you make contact with someone and all is good. Then one day, they just disappear. Never to be heard or seen again.

That got me pondering. So having some (little) experience of this spectral phenomena, I decided to put together a handy guide to all things supernatural.

Ghosting

Contact is established but the potential date then just disappears in a ‘poof’ of ectoplasm. Endemic on here.

The Slimer

Knocks on your door when least expected and has the urge to share sticky goo with you. Bonus points if the goo gets in your eye.

The Poltergeist

Turns up at your house and hits you with things. Then disappears.

Full blown apparition

Turns up on the date and then mysteriously disappears. Often in the vicinity of the open window in the rest room for some unknown reason

EVP

Rings you up when least expected and demands phone sex.

Banshee

Often heard when the date is gently but firmly turned down. Can also become a…

Non genii-locii centred apparition

These guys follow you around everywhere. And I mean everywhere!

Boggart

Will readily take on other forms but will only reveal its true ghastly visage on the first date

Hobgoblin

Often appears taller in pictures for some reason…

Anniversary Spectres

Will pop up on a significant date and demand sexual congress. And then the next day they have suddenly gone…

Genii-locii centred apparition

Will NOT STOP turning up at your house even though you have performed a ritual banishment. (AKA Refusing to return a call).

The Black Dog

Turns up on a date and leaves you feeling much worse than when you arrived.

The Ghoul

Has kinks that you simply Do. Not. Want to. Experience. Ever.

Residual Entity

The one that you cannot banish from your mind. Or indeed, your house.

The Vampire

Sucks you dry of all your energy leaving you unable to make a whimper (Note that under the new Fetlife TOU, all discussion of this creature is now banned.)

The Werewolf

Mates with frequent abandon. Watch those STI’s!

The White Lady

Often beautiful but appears very sad and is always on her own. This is because no-one will call her princess. [Sob].

The Sasquatch

Can be very tall but has also appeared in a shortened form. Only partially evolved. Sometimes seen mysteriously writing on Fetlife; usually at the top of K&P. Science does not yet fully understand this creature.

Bloody Mary

Often seen in groups on Fetlife. And they are LOUD! They scream and curse and scream and curse. Often what they say makes no sense whatsoever…

Resurrection Mary.

Simply can NOT move on. No matter how hard they try. They are always pining for their lost love you see.

Sprites

Switches and/or brats.

Piskies

See Sprites.

Changelings

Sock accounts.

and finally…

Spring-heeled Jack

No reliable sightings so far. Pops up in inboxes with alarming regularity. Repeats the phrase ‘Hi’.

I do hope that you have found this guide educational and informative.

Stay safe and please don’t have nightmares!

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