Heaven know by the time Christmas 2016 I could have done with a present from Santa Claus. I had well and truly earnt it by then. You see I found something. Quite by chance but I found something utterly amazing.
I found an entire new word.
Not an ante-dating or a different usage. But a shiny, brand new word. Never before entered into any dictionary. I was fucking ecstatic. It appeared in what some have called the strangest book ever written. My Secret Life by ‘Walter’written approximately in the late 1890’s. Running to eleven volumes and one million words. No-one knows if anyone has managed to read it. Start with Book One, chapter one and you will soon see why.
If you have a library card (in the UK) then it is highly likely that you have access to the third edition of the OED which is still being compiled. Eagerly, I first checked my 1970’s edition. Nope not there. Then I went online and searched – actually everywhere.
Nothing. Nadda. Zilch.
So I then, in state of utter glee I submitted it to the OED. Then I waited.
Over xmas I checked the December additions. Nothing.
Then the March Edition. Nothing
Finally the July one. It wasn’t there. I am BEYOND devastated. And now the world won’t know what this lovely new word is because those utter TWUNTS in Oxford are presumably still pissing about with slips of paper and arguing if the word ‘twat’ was first written about in 1546 or 1547 (possibly).
But you will know dear reader ‘cos I’m going to tell you right now. This is my gift to you.
a sexual activity in which the penis is stimulated by the partner’s mouth
Oh yes, we can have from July 2017 such words as
and of course